That Kind of Day

It’s the kind of day where you run out of toilet paper.

The kind of day where you hear the phone ring while in the shower and pick it up half a second too late.

The kind of day where you jump in your time machine to go back a few seconds and catch the phone call, but spin the dial a little too far so you end up in some sort of feudal empire.

The kind of day where you impress the locals with your basic understanding of chemistry and they fear you as a wizard then revere you as royalty then worship you as a god.

The kind of day where you end up ruling over an entire society but are brought down by corruption and backstabbing the likes of Brutus and his ilk. This of course makes you wonder why you didn’t just jump back in the time machine to begin with, but it’s far too late for that as you are quickly bleeding to death as you assassin is preparing a speech.

The kind of day that starts with no toilet paper but ends with you being buried in a tomb for thousands of years wrapped in it.

It’s that kind of day.

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