“You know, you talk too much.”

Nothing.

“You know, you talk too much.”

Nothing.

“You know, you talk too much.”

Nothing .

Stupid machine. The sign says it is a talking machine full of surprise responses that are random when you say the sentence ‘You know, you talk too much’ into its incredibly stupid-shaped earpiece. It only justifies moreso the fact that I didn’t want to come on this stupid science excursion to The Technology Centre.

I see one of the ‘technos’ (they think it’s a cool name for the staff, but it’s so wanky) walking around and call him over. When I tell him the machine doesn’t work he says to try changing the tone of the sentence. Duhhh, that’s what I’ve been doing. He says that maybe it is my volume of speaking then, either too low or too loud.

It’s a friggin’ machine, for crying out loud!

“You know, you talk too much.”

Still nothing.

“YOU KNOW, YOU. TALK. TOO. MUCH!”

Silence.

“STUPID. FUCKING. MACHINE.”
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“Don’t speeek to mee like that, insolent one.”