I have lots of reading to catch up on here and promise I’ll be making lots of comments this weekend, having been absent for a week or so, but I wanted to put this up while it was fresh in my mind.

Some people are probably going to find the attempted rhythm of it horribly contrived but it felt right for this stage in the journey.

I’m going to check out the other branch from Life Lines now!

I wouldn’t say “horribly” contrived. In fact, it’s a bit dramatic in delivery, but isn’t much of that just this narrator? He’s got a heavy voice.

This piece had an unsettling mix of revelation and mystery. The blend of longed-for familiar and startling strangeness makes for an odd but not unpleasant read. It’s creepy, too: the family seems almost like a photograph or frozen in amber, the man speaks from the shadows without preamble or apparent surprise—he knows who is here and why and what’s wrong with it all.

It’s atmospheric and a telling city, without too much city description. It also has a sense of finality to it, despite no ending.

It’s one of those truths these days. “You can’t go back home.” In the deeper meaning of that homily, you cannot return to the days of your youth. Our traveler has returned home and found it transformed into a new place, one he is unfamiliar with.

Still, this doesn’t mean the end of his travels, but a new beginning. One where he tries to find his home in other places.

I think my favorite lines are, “I am not her brother. I am not his son.” There’s a terrible sadness in them along with that terrible yearning for “home” that our traveler is dealing with.

I very much enjoyed this piece.

Believe it or not, even though i have spent half my life in the prison system, i was a phi beta kappa national honor society student and went on full ride, but jester is just too smart to talk to me. i love his work, but whenever i hear him comment i just want to take his lunch money and beat him in the head. I feel like everytime he comments it makes me feel stupid, know either i am stupid and anyone can get a thirty two on their act, or maybe some people are purposely verbose and condescending to make themselves feel good. I hope i am just stupid, because that would just be mean.

now instead of know

i love this story by the way spider i thought it was very original and for a split second i felt how wonderful it must be to visit that place.

On a second reading, and I realized that Bayt Manzel is not the traveler’s home city, but a city that everyone thinks is your home. Oh my, that’s eerie and wonderful at the same time. A town that when you visit it, it seems to be your home town, but it isn’t.

What a way to tug on the heart strings Spiderj!

i dont think i understand the real essence of the short-short-story but oh well, one thing sure is clear, you caught my interest and i assure you, that i’ll be reading both the prequel and sequels of this story..LOL, anyway, im just passing through..

I liked it, by the way. If that wasn’t clear.

this story is great I’m new here so check my stuff out see if i’m any good

I really like this story. :)

Simply wonderful. As usual. Spiderj, if I wore a hat, it would be off to you.