Message One.

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Hey Jay, it’s Patrick. Look, I’ve been trying t’get a hold of you for two days now, and every time I’ve called the line’s been busy. I’ve tried the cell, and it’s either busy or you won’t pick up! I’ve seen you around town, too, but every time I’ve tried to get your attention you keep on talking to whoever it is you’re with. It starts wearin’ on a guy, not being able t’talk with a bud when he’s a constant chatterbox.

Y’know dude, I hope y’don’t mind my being honest, but you talk way too much. I mean, really! I’ve wanted to tell you for quite some time, but I never got around to it. Know why? Because you keep going on about this, chatting about that, and yak-yak-yakin’ about the other, it’s tough to get a single thought in! It’s very frustrating, trying to get something in when the other person keeps rambling on and on, and sometimes they’ll keep ramblin’ until you don’t have any idea what the hell they were sayin’ in the first place!

And another thing…!

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End of Message.