“Where am I?”

“You don’t know? Does the heat not give you a clue? How about ‘Our Lord! Surely, whom You admit to the Fire, indeed You have disgraced him, and never will the wrongdoers find any helpers.’, from Quran 3:192?”

“Oh no! I don’t understand!”

“Remember. Laptop? Hotel? Bomb?”

“Allah! Please no!”

“I’m afraid he isn’t in this department; there’s no appeal. And you won’t find any virgins down here either, well except those like you.”

“But wait! I remember. I changed my mind. I became fearful. I was just about to delete my suicide note! I didn’t do it!”

“Er, yes, well. I thought you might, but you don’t get out of a commitment so easily. So I took the liberty of re-routing your bomb trigger.”

“What to?”

“Backspace.”