WOW THAT WAS DEEP AND GRAPHIC, BRE thanks for entering. 5 pencils

WOW THAT WAS DEEP AND GRAPHIC, BRE thanks for entering. 5 pencils

This is good .Straight from the heart

Reminds me of my grandmother…. except i never yelled why. never was one for drama. i’m the kind of cry for 30 seconds in private kind of guy.

Wow.
That was very, very, very nice.

Thank you!

awesome, I love how you capture the most dramatic moments in life and go over them with a fine toothed comb. :)

elsha is a menace

Something very song-like in this. Me likey. Isn’t this line from a song, actually?

“you’ll just sit there wishing you could still make love.”

I am an idiot and just realized the challenge, lol. And shame on me for not recognizing the line sooner. I heart Radiohead like mad.

hey this is brebelles first time to be featured can yall believe that? congrats you rock out with your socks out bre.

Congrats. on getting featured…

Congrats on featuredom! :-)

BRI~ONYOU’REFEATURED!! (lol, reminds you of my txting, doesn’t it?) This is very emotional. You really tapped into your writing soul for this one. I was thinking of Lorie (when am I not:P) until the lovemaking bit :P

Yes, I was like…uh Blahblah.. why are you not putting SPACES inbetween your words.. have you gotten too used to texting w/o them lol..

I was thinking about Lorie, as well, while writing this… and how if she was married how her husband would have responded.. (Ha, but I was also thing of you and your parents and how you would have reacted too. *Muah <3)

i love it.

Thanks!!

A scathing satire of teenage melodrama! You manage to capture the pointless angst and meaningless drivel that infests teenage melodrama. Well done!

This is one of your best pieces. The challenge seemed to help with the flow of your writing. I noticed that you stick to poems, specifically quatrains. I think you have a lot of deep things to say, and I’d love to see what shape they take when you’re not limiting yourself to 4 lines at a time. Also, I’m curious about hearing your thoughts on more than love and friendship. Your characters seem mostly concerned with love gone awry or friendship. What else do they think about?

Or even sticking with these themes, what sort of objects remind them deeply of that love or even betrayal? My brother and I got these keychains at the State Fair and there are so many memories tied up in this little block of wood… it’s more than just something that holds my keys together anymore. My point is this: what if love wasn’t the subject you were describing, but more like a lens through which you viewed something else?

Nice job with this one.

oh!

it actually made me cry.

its so sad.

tas_13

Wow. Definitely concur – one of your best works. It could be a song, could be a poem, could be epic prose – I think it’s just the strength of the emotion and the fierce freshness of grief that makes it. Well done.