Aww, that’s a sweet story. I like how you’ve captured the narrators ‘teenagerdom’ – or whatever the term is. The way the narrator manipulates the mom is skillfully done. (I’m realizing I don’t know if narrator is he or she, not important except as I try to type comment :p ).

Is there an accepted convention for signing speech in writing? I’d still be tempted to put it in quotes, as it is speech, but I get why you didn’t (to differentiate it from regular speech, I assume). Perhaps using single quotes instead?

Nicely done!

Thanks for the feedback. Just curious, what made you think of it as sweet?

I hate to tell you, sir – but you were the winner this morning I was thinking about. Had I not had the day to muse over the work, you’d be walking away with the badge. It was that close. And with your field of competitors, that is honor indeed. LOVED this piece – the dynamic of family vs. disability is handled beautifully and organically. If you read my feedback to the other entrants, you will know that my only having one note is definitely praiseworthy.

The line “What? she signed. Use your hands, she signed.” hiccups on the repitition. I’m not even sure how I’d reword this – but if I were chewing on it, I might go with “What? Her hands stuttered in frustration. Use your hands, she signed.”

DEFINITELY following you now, sir – you have a gift that has my eye.

It seemed sweet because they ‘made up’ at the end. The narrator signed to the mom, and hugged her, showing the mood shift. It just seems like a real, heartfelt moment between the two characters.