Oh man, I totally dig it. If you wanted to make the reveal a little different, Marie could roll up her sleeve to show a tattoo on her arm (a regimental logo with a bar code underneath, maybe).
That’s just what popped into my mind, but I genuinely dig what you did with this story.
It is part of larger story I had roughly outlined about the lack of corporate ethics, alienation and the human fear of aliens, geek-type obsessions taken to an unhealthy level, martial law, revenge, and a teenage girl forced to become the most hated thing in the world: and inhuman human.
cthulhuburger
Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)
ElshaHawk (LoA)
Jessica Cahill
Branwen Hernandez
Nauctshea
Jessica Cahill
Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)
Radical Yellow Duck