Oh man, I totally dig it. If you wanted to make the reveal a little different, Marie could roll up her sleeve to show a tattoo on her arm (a regimental logo with a bar code underneath, maybe).

That’s just what popped into my mind, but I genuinely dig what you did with this story.

wow this is really great you really have a feel for this challenge

Awesome twist at the end! The detective gets more than he bargained for..

You totally have a gift for this…specially the military stuff. Very fun.

WOW. I hope you write more to this. Or at least more along these lives. I love Mech. You’re awesome. Thank you.

It is part of larger story I had roughly outlined about the lack of corporate ethics, alienation and the human fear of aliens, geek-type obsessions taken to an unhealthy level, martial law, revenge, and a teenage girl forced to become the most hated thing in the world: and inhuman human.

Oh…is that all? ^^

http://ficly.com/challenges/251
hey here is another cyberpunk challenge please go enter it’ll be fun I love cyberpunk

CYBORGS RULE!!!

at least until their hard drive crashes.