very faced pace and suspenseful

Ooh, creepy and unsettling without being too overt about things. Nice.

My question is whether or not I should keep the “huh” at the end. Does it lose the tension that I was going for?

I’ll be honest, I have no idea what is occurring in this story. The first thing that comes to mind in some sort of weird alien imprisonment and breeding situation, but that’s probably not what you were going for. Still very well written.

And there is my Pigglie… leaving behind his conspiracy theories…. xDD

When I see this I imagine someone who just travels way too much or a prostitute. In any event I can practically feel the gritty feel of the environment. Nicely done, twin.