I went and got my lunch slowly. Walking back to the empty table felt just like it did the very first day. I could feel everyone’s eyes boring into my body from every angle. My face was set in a firm mask. I didn’t want anyone to know what I felt inside…

I sat down at the table with my food in front of me. It felt like everyone could see straight through me. I stared at my food, to afraid to meet the gazes of my classmates. The knowing glances that were surrounding me were breaking my mental concentration.

I shifted uncomfortable in my seat. Nathaniel is taking a really long time… I thought to myself. I could feel my paranoia start again. I reached into my purse and pulled out my iPod, hoping to use it to distract myself. I glanced around to look for Nathaniel and was met with more knowing looks.

They couldn’t possibly know what was happening to me, nobody knew that but me.

If only I had known then that the knowing looks in my classmates faces weren’t about me at all, but about Nathaniel.