I can’t fucking believe it. An asteroid or maybe a chunk of some planet, or something the size of the entire country of France is going to hit the planet in less than a week. 97.7% chance of hitting us. The scientists said that we would see such a thing months or years ahead of time so we could deal with it. Turns out they were right, if you search the internet you can find scientists warning us about it 4 months ago, and the usual naysayers calling them alarmists, saying that we need to spend more of our resources combating global warming. It wasn’t in newspapers until two months ago, and finally made national news two fucking nights ago. What gives? Here’s the breakdown of the news stories for the last 4 months:

North Korea posturing: 8
Cultural change in China: 1
Continued war on terror: 112
Economic woes: 30
Economic bright spots: 12
Murders: 45
Dogs/cats saved from fires: 5
Clever science projects (!) by high school kids (!): 3
Paris, Britney, Brangelina, etc: 253

America: 469 Humanity: 0
America wins