The Man-Boy on the Bus

He says it’s Asperger’s, but everyone knows something else is there. He’s 50, looks 30, thinks 8, and has the hormones of a 13-yr-old. He’s wearing a T-shirt with a donut emblazoned across his round stomach, baggy shorts, black socks, and comfortable plastic sandals. When not asking slim women his pick-up line, “You chasing the boys or they chasing you?”, he loudly provides proof that one needs no other people in order to have a heated debate. Unfortunately, it is mumbled so neither side can be fully heard; though, this is not the only thing preventing others from understanding either side.

Other passengers exchange uncomfortable and comedic expressions in reference to his comments and behavior. When the bus comes to his stop, he pushes through an elderly man and a woman leaning on a cane in order to be first. He charges through with his rallying cry, “I’m gonna be late! It’s a matter of life and death! Preferably yours!”

After he leaves, a noticeable sigh of relief seems to go through the bus.

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