People always hide things in the last place you’d think to look. So that’s exactly where I go first when I enter a house. Money can be hidden in the fridge, kitchen cabinets, closets, anywhere but a piggy bank or safe. Of course, if I see those I nab them too.

But even I hide things from myself so well I lose them.

I was stuffing a pillow case full of jewelry, cash, and collectibles, thinking I’d finally hit the motherload. I grabbed a second pillowcase, certain there were no alarms, no need to rush this time. I stuffed in a few purses, digital cameras, and a GameCube. Then I heard the door shut.

I froze, listening. I stealthily moved through the house, trying not to jingle anything in the bags, moving opposite of the unwanted house guest. I was glimpsed in a mirror. “HEY!”
I bolted. I threw the bags in some brush behind the house.
Now, without a flashlight at 3 AM in the pitch black, trying not to alert skittish homeowners, I was not having any luck finding my loot.
Crunch Ow.
Oh, there it is.