Really trippy. I really like the “chemo untherapy” thing, though I don’t know if you need to repeat all of it like that. Maybe just the second time say “after years of bobbing” to refer back to it, but not repeat it all. You don’t have to; it’s not a big problem, and it’s probably just me.

I liked it when I was half asleep at 3 am… now I get what you mean…. hm…

Okay, I really like it the way it is now. A good balance of freeverse, repetition and rhyme.

If someone else doesn’t like it, you’re allowed to say so but just FYI I won’t care.

I like this…just the way it is. ::smiles proudly::

This is great, Sophia! I didn’t see it before Stovohobo’s suggestion but I love the way it flows…

chemo untherapy is just the bees knees
this is jewel in your crown

I like that better…it flows more now.

a jewel

aww thanks MJY <3

Thanks for entering the challenge! I also liked chemo untherapy but didn’t really get the drift til I followed some of the comments; did the narrator go from heroin addiction to chemo as treatment? Sorry to be dumb, I’m never smart with poetry…

It’s about a cancer patient who has passed the point of possible recovery and segued into sure death. When that happens, one is moved from a hospital to a hospice and instead of medicine and chemotherapy, they give you morphine—comprised mostly of heroin—to help you with the pain.