I felt really well today so I decided to try some legionellosis. Then the girl at the Infection Parlour told me it was difficult to distinguish from pneumonia without proper testing, that I picked it just for the name, a very common mistake for poseurs. Then I told her I wanted Cryptococosis and she laughed at me because it’s largely asymptomatic.
She stared at me behind her designer hazmat suit;
“You think you are hardcore? Try some purple skin patches, high fevers and uncontrollable vomiting. Septicemia is right for you”