“I’m going to the dentist in an hour, so I’m going to need this as soon-”
WHOMP
“HOUUUUOUUUUUU!!”
fwowmp

---

“Now you know we have to have this out the door tod-”
WHOMP
“AUGH!”
fwowmp

---

“I’m running some errands this afternoon, so I’ll have to be able to review this bef-”
WHOMP
cough
“DUuuuuUUuUuude!”
fwowmp

---

“Hey, that’s a new sign you got there. What’s it say?”
He pulled the sign closer.

WARNING:

ARTIFICIAL DEADLINES RESTRICTED

All requests for artificial deadlines
require request receipt forms
administered to the requesting party
via compressed-air-driven catheterization.

“Oh. Well, this can wait until tomorrow, I suppose.”

I dropped the air nozzle back into the lubricant pan. “Sounds good. Hey – can you get these three out to the break room? I think they need to lie down.”