I lie down on my bed and breathe slowly. I close my eyes, squeezing them shut for a moment because they are sore. My cat meows as she curls up in the crook of my arm, pressed against my side.

I look at my fan. I lay watching the blades spin around. I try picking out individual ones, but that made my eyes dizzy. I close my eyes again, but open them almost immediately.

It doesn’t matter though. With eyes open or eyes closed the image of his face is burned into my brain. He is all I could see, all I could hear, and all I could think about. I could see his soft and inviting blue eyes gazing down on me… I could hear his cute laughter ringing through out the room… I could imagine the sweet compliments he showered me with.

I feel tears prick in my eyes as I think about him more. I roll to my side to stare at the blank wall next to my bed. But that doesn’t help. Being in this room or house is hard because he’d been to all these places. Every where holds memories of him.

I just need an escape…