“Man, this is boring.”

“Don’t worry man, we’re almost there.”

“You said that when we were in that cryogenic storage tank.”

“Trust me, man, it’s worth it.”

“I didn’t ask for this. Look at that idiot, clinging to the side of the bottle like he’s going to get out or something.”

“I should have stayed with that sweet caramel colored girl.”

“She was too dense for you.”

“That hurts, man.”

“I think I’m gonna go for the foam.

“Too crowded. I think I’ll go up his nose. Does this guy ever clean his fridge?”

“Hey, look, man, here he comes!”

“Finally! He’d better be thirsty.”

“It’s time!”

The crowd shuddered in anticipation. The cap turned. Thousands of them were ejected in two plumes as the pressure equalized. Foam overflowed. Half the crowd pressed towards the foam.

“Ouch! Those caffeine molecules are such jerks!”

“Just enjoy it, man.” He grabbed onto a chain of high fructose corn syrup, and fizzed in excitement as he rose to the top.

The other just sighed, and stepped into line behind the preservatives.