I enjoyed your writing style here — how you set up Lauren as a partner he cares for without saying much about her; setting the scene with just enough detail to hint at the location while leaving room for other directions.

The only thing I’d say is watch the tense; “look”, “deciding”, “turn” vs. “opened”, for instance. Personally I think past tense is best, because describing a harrowing emergency in present tense can make me ask “OK, why is this person telling a story while falling to his death?” :)

Otherwise, all good. Also liked how you setup the sequel with some female beginning a conversation. Oh, and the understated “ouch” :) I couldn’t help but continue this :)

Thanks Theo! I did notice that tense was an issue in this piece. But I’m happy with it otherwise.