Perhaps even more alarming than all of these things was the photocopier.

One of the unbreakable laws of Office Physics is that the photocopier cannot, under any circumstances, copy any amount of paper for any great length of time. It’s just not done. Photocopiers weren’t designed to be an office aid. They were designed to suck time away from people who could otherwise be doing useful, productive things. Throughout every office I have ever worked in, the rhythmic beating of the photocopier accompanied by the almost tribal chants of “Stupid thing! What’s wrong now? Work, damn you!” echo throughout the building.

Here, people were photocopying quite happily. They were xeroxing documents to their hearts’ content, with reams and reams of varying forms spewing forth from the bottom of the machine with reckless abandon. There were even paper clips in the little dip on the control panel for keeping paper clips in.

Surely, this was some kind of anti-matter office.