OK, I can see why you’d want to write about this (I’m assuming you’re being autobiographical). But I don’t think you’ve made a story of it. It reads more like a diary entry or an extract from a conversation with a friend. The best stories (for me, anyway) pivot around a crucial moment, no matter how small, at which something changes irrevocably for the character/s. A vasectomy is gonna change something irrevocably… but where sense of who the character is, the drama that has precipitated the event; where is the evidence of the inner change?

This is just the first instalment. I was trying to write it clinically because at that point is was pretty clinical. But thanks for the pointers, I’ll see if I can make is sound more personal.

maybe more wishy-washy debating, convincing yourself to do it would appease the story hungry?

okay more emotion, and personal details in this version. I guess the feeling of losing a best friend is in the argument with your wife over the procedure? she wants it, you don’t, but you want your wife’s love?