To Be

Hamlet: Man, I’m sad my pops died.

King Dad Ghost: Son, my asshole brother killed me.

Halmet: Mother fucker. Hey, Unc, is this shit fo’ real?

New King Uncle: Now Halmet….

Halmet: Should’ve said “no” you guilty bitch. (Stab)

Queen Gertrude, Polonius, Laertes, Ophelia, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern: I like being alive.

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