I woke up in a closet. How did I get here?! I thought. There was someone with me. An old lady in a nightgown. Wait… Maybe…

I checked. She had a pulse. Okay. An old lady, not a corpse. She was unconscious, though. I heard voices outside. I cracked open the closet door.

There was a young girl standing at the foot of a bed, wearing a red, hooded cloak. “Grandma, what big eyes you have!” I peered further into the room to see who was in the bed.

Red must have been the archetype for dumb blondes. There, in the bed, was a wolf in granny’s bedclothes. Before the wolf could reply, I stepped out.

“Stop!” The both turned to me, startled. I pointed to the wolf. “You’re a wuss.”

“A… what?” the wolf asked, confused.

“Original tale: The Big Bad Wolf eats grandma, then eats Little Red Riding Hood.”

The wolf grinned like a kid on Christmas, gobbled up Red in one gulp, then dove into the closet to down grandma.

I didn’t think he’d be too happy when I told him the woodsman would kill and skin him later.