Paul: Now, I know I wasn’t supposed to get you anything, but I saw this and thought of you.
John: Oh, um, thanks.
Paul: Open it! Open it!
John: A book…The Path Of The Green Man? Gay… Wicca? But I’m not…
Paul: Look, I know that it’s been hard for you, but it’s time you came out as gay wiccan. You own all the seasons of Charmed, you have that crazy wood necklace thing, you wrote that fantasy book back in college…
John: …wait wait wait, that’s something else entirely.
Paul: It’s okay! I won’t tell anyone, you can tell other people whenever you’d like, or not at all. But always know that I’m totally okay that you believe in gnomes or whatever. Okay?
John: Oh. Good to know.
Paul: Just, you know, try to be so obvious all the time, okay babe?
John: What?
Paul: Oh, um, just don’t broadcast your wiccaness to everyone all the time. Like, when you painted our apartment’s walls green and had us all read Harry Potter, I was like, ugggg, too much witches, you know?
John: The… Fuck?
Paul: I love you John!
John: Goddamnit.