What I write is best read really late at night, so late the sun is coming up and anyone rational has finished everything hours ago. Imagine that you finished everything hours ago and are just now reading my crap. In fact, imagine that you what you finished was having gay sex with a videogame character. There, good mindset, for me at least.

The next day the memory of the sweet gay love and my story mingle in you mind over lunch of a Cherry Coke and a bagel. Your memories are cut short when a man who may or may not look like David Bowie walks up behind you and taps you on the shoulder.

He looks at you threateningly as he slowly builds up balls of flame in both his hands. You begin to bargain with him that even though you aren’t doing anything productive with your life right now there is potential in everyone, even you. He laughs and in a low voice proclaims, “This never was about that at all.”

Soon you are a burnt to a crisp, and keyboard cat plays you off.