[Congressman Harris steps to the podium]

On this 6th Day of August, Congress hereby declares any consumption of food deemed unhealthy by our standards a crime.

This bill is being passed in efforts to bring our nation out of debt. All of our nation’s unhealthy foods production will now be mass exports for other countries.

All is not for the economoy, we want to promote long life, and prosperity for our nation’s citizens.

Serious consideration has went into the effects of this bill, and only good can come from this New Deal. It has been passed with a 75% vote.

Oh yeah, no more Reality TV either.

Thank you for undivided attention.