Spilling his guts

Water walked in and poured himself a drink. Missed the mug and got it all over. Water is a sloppy drinker.

“All I want to do is get sloshed,” he said. “Let me tell you about my day.” “First, I get to work and some drip emptied the water cooler and didn’t put on a new bottle. There’s not a drop to drink. So I’m hoisting the bottle, it slips, and I get drenched. Soaked to the skin. Like a wet dishrag.” “Then this douchebag from marketing comes to me and says that the client hated the new campaign. The client told him it sucked pond water. We lost the account. Tries to cheer me up by saying don’t worry there are plenty of fish in the sea. Right. He’s all wet.” “Then finally, and here’s the kicker, I went to the clinic to get results today. You know how me and the wife have been having fertility problems? Well, turns out my little guys can’t swim. How’s that for a kick in the head?” “Boy that’s tough,” I replied. “Well, you know what they say, when it rains it pours.”
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