“Sweet! And it only took four? Talk about easy!

“Well, it was taking forever, and her friend was being a total cunt about it all, so I just spiked the fourth cup. Saves time, y’know?”

“Yeah. I hate when they show up to parties in pairs like that. Like they’re trying to cockblock right from the start. Such bullshit.”

“Amen to that, bro. Hey, check out Legs over there.”

“Don’t bother – she’s probably frigid.”

“Yeah, she isn’t even smiling… So, you got away from her friend, then?”

“Yeah, she spilled the fifth drink all over herself, so I just offered to help her find clean clothes in Jay’s room.”

“Nice, the gentleman angle. Smooth move, there. So, how was it?”

“Moaned like a whore the whole time, the fuckin’ slut.”


“Too bad her friend found us after that and started losing her shit at me again. Seriously, that girl is one crazy bitch. Kept screamin’ about rape and shit.”

“What, it’s not like she said ‘no’.”

“I know! S’what I told her. God, what a dumb fuck, right?”

“Yeah. Jeez.”

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