Linus sat in the pumpkin field during Halloween waiting for the Great Pumpkin to appear and shower him with presents.

Linus sat in the same spot for two hours when suddenly, arrising from a tangle of vines and weeds, came a large, floating pumpkin twelve feet in diameter. “Linus…” It called. “I am the Great Pumpkin, here to award you for your loyalty with three wishes. Follow me.”

Linus lept into the air with exitement and chased after The Pumpkin. The Pumpkin led Linus far into the forest until Linus saw hundreds of pumpkins sitting at desks and typing. “Linus…” said The Pumpkin, “Would you like your three wishes now.”

“Y-yessir!” mumbled Linus.

“Good,” said the Great Pumpkin whipping out some paperwork. “I just need you to sign this paperwork in triplicate, file in you and your mothers birth certificate, and credit card information.”

“I don’t have a credit card, sir.” muttered Linus. Suddenly Linus was back in the pumpkin field, alone. He sat back down in a patch of grass and sighed. Sooooo, close.