Alone on the cold floor of his masters kitchen, Coke Zero looked around.

Coke Zero: DAAYYYUUMMM. THIS SHIT BE POPPIN. I’M STRAIGHT UP Z.

He hopped on his side, and began to roll throughout the house, looking for his master. He knew that somewhere in the house, a man resided who was thirsty for a Coke Zero. Or, at least he hoped.

When he entered the den, he saw the master. On the couch. Eyes covered under a flap of skin.

Coke Zero: YYEAAAHH! I’M STRAIGHT UP Z AND I’M GONNA BE GOING DOWN SOMEONES THROAT TONIGHT!

Hopping onto the couch, he moved back and fourth. His master awoken to an empty room, and nothing but a chilled soda can by is side.

Confused, he pushed the soda off the couch, and onto the floor.

Coke Zero was rejected.

Coke Zero: Why…why did he not…but I came all this way for…nothing. And now I am alone. Straight up alone.
Japanese Celery Soda: Konichiwa!
Coke Zero: Where did you…?
Japanese Celery Soda: Konichiwa!
Coke Zero: God dammit.