Oh noes!

Fun continuation of the action. Did you mean to have two sentences as to how they looked at the protagonist (the ‘as if..’ lines in the second paragraphs). Otherwise, great fun and nicely set up for the next installment.

Why do I get a “Matrix: Reloaded” vibe?

I did intend the as if bits, but should have chosen different wording, I think. Ah well. :) Thanks for the feedback!

teeters on cliffhanger edge Gah! This is good, keep’r goin’!

It was as if I’d volunteered to defuse a bomb with only a TV Guide for instructions

A most fabulous line! You get a fifth pencil.

Changed ‘as if’ #2 to ‘like’ – the sound is less redundant, at least, if not the meaning. :P

I’m trying to decide if I like the way the protagonist headed on up there without a care in the world, or if it would have been more appropriate to smother the action with layers of apprehension and dread. Actually, I guess the protagonist is acting like John Cusack’s character in 1408, with plenty of advanced warning and reasons to be afraid, yet still refusing to show any fear (until it’s too late).

I agree with Alexa. Fabulous many-pencil line! I would delete the one that comes after – it takes the steam out of its predecessor’s sails. But I LOVE the way you’re inching this story along, squeezing maximum drama and absurdity out of each slo-mo molehill catastrophe…