A Day in the Life of Messiah Marcolin

After coming out of an insane motorcycle backflip, Messiah Marcolin, lead singer of the doom metal band Candlemass, takes a moment to ponder. “Shall I take a walk?” he says. Ripping two goblins clean in half with one arm, he decides a walk would be splendid. While amassing an evil doom-dancing army of the awakened dead, he notices a flower growing in the crack of the sidewalk. “How charming” says Messiah Marcolin, as he morphs the flower into a snarling monstrosity with his satanic magic. “I believe I shall go get some groceries,” says Messiah Marcolin. With this he mounts a giant, evil crow. He flies up to the roost of a ferocious dragon. Using only his ear shattering scream and giant claymore, he cleaves the dragon in two. Ripping and tearing with his fangs, he consumes what he can, and butchers the rest. He teleports his meat back to his Dark Lair, and returns to his walk. “Stockholm is so beautiful this time of year,” says Messiah Marcolin, as the buildings and landscape surrounding him burst into flames.

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