I loved this, can see many sequels and prequels here

nearly falls off cliffhanger Yowza! I agree with ernmander, this could go in several different directions. What’s this “everything” Serena could ruin? Hm…

Thanks for entering!

Thanks! The “everything” I had in mind is the ringleader’s idea of what is “right” and “proper” and “good” in this society. Tattoos, underground music, and free thinking are not allowed.

great descriptions here!

mmm…lovely.
I think I might keep an eye on this one.

Wow, this has some serious potential!

Ooooooh, mean girls! Hold your own Ms. Plain Jane! I like this, it flowed really well and the points of view felt really dynamic. There were a few minor technical things like capitalization in the second sentence, but nothing distracting from the story.