My favorite thing to do at parties is to talk judgmentally about people who aren’t there.

It starts with the silence after a good laugh. Someone asks why John isn’t here. Someone else explains how John and Claire blow off parties to go hang out with Jeff a lot.

A comparison to Kate is made about how she’s never anywhere with friends if Jeff isn’t there.

The gossip blooms around me before I know it. I put a hand near my face to block the slander that’s hurtling across the room. The words that my friends have said are filling the room to bursting point.

Just before that happens, a small door is opened for me. I walk through the threshold into a large, white area. I’m back at work again.

I write number sequences on the walls in peace; I fill in the blanks and I solve the equation.

I’m at peace until someone makes me snap out of it.

I apologize and say how I must be tired. A friend empathizes with me. His attempt at comforting me is not successful. I respond with a weak ‘Yeah’.

I sigh and say I should go.