Ever feel disconnected from the world? Sure, there are the basic needs that never go away, like needing food or rest. But even in the midst of feeling angry, or sad, or happy, there’s this strange gap between your mind and the rest of the world. Information can get in, but it seems like it never gets back out again. At some point, you’re going to finally reach one hell of a backlog and explode from it all. That happens and it becomes safer not to feel at all, to make sure that all the information that comes in is treated as strictly Facts, because you don’t have room or time or patience for Feelings.
I’ve been that way for years now. Every so often, I’ll meet someone who can feel and empathize and see beauty and wonder in the world, and I wonder if maybe I’m going about this life all wrong. Maybe people aren’t all just pretending to feel happy or sad or silly or bored, maybe they actually do feel that way.
Thinking that way lies trouble, because when the mask slips, it’s a bitch to get back in place.