As Ms. Newman sat before her recent crop of kindergartners, she was impressed with the cultural schism that lay before her.
There was Benjamin, son of fundamentalists, who cut his teeth on antidisestablishmentarianism sitting next to Sage, the daughter of lesbian avengers. During “One, Two Buckle My Shoe” Sage had raged against the instruction to “Lay them straight.”
There was Tristan, raised by English professors at the local university. He attempted to identify and correct each pyrrhic and clitic that was uttered during show and tell. The latter being the cause of a parent/ teacher conference with the previously mentioned lesbian momazons.
Ah, how she longed for the days when she could simply teach the fundamentals of good penmanship. Today’s conversation would begin with a surprise.
“Class”, she began, “today we have a real treat. We will be watching a classic and a favorite of mine- ‘Mary Poppins’.”
“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!” Shouted the teacher’s aid.
“WITCH!!!!!!!” Screamed Ben.