I ran out of space! I’m an even-keeled person, there just isn’t much inner growth to be done.. I feel average, and sometimes that gets me down. Like I’m not cool.

Enough.

no it wasn’t and along the way met a group of people that adventually became family. love ya Elsh =)

I was feeling barely alive, useless.
But I know its okay, because what’s wrong with being the level-headed, even-keeled, average one?

ok well it is a proven fact that i am kewl, my first bike was replica of fonzies motorcycle how cool is that? and didn’t i just tell you today and i quoate, “Elsha you are so cool.”
Elsha we love you and ficly which happens to be where i live would not be homw without you. You are so cool.

Elsha, you always write from the heart. As usual, very good job.

I am right there with you, sister. Sometimes doing the normal: the school the hubby, the house, the kids – it just seems so meh. There has to be more – something that says: here I am world, look at me! Even if only for two seconds. Something that’s yours, and no one else’s, not just the same steps trudged by so many before and so many to come!

I hear you.

In story terms: the elements are there, but it doesn’t quite pack the gut punch. But then, the emotional stuff is damn hard to write.

@April Raines oh past bedtime is not the best time to write for a punch!
@MJY and Wyatt, thanks, I just had to get this down.

Well, you know I’m a sucker for an introspective psychological sort of piece. Can’t help but pick up on the external locus of control, that the negative outcomes are the result of life pushing and shoving in a particular direction.
The line about the compliments given “tiredly” by the husband told a whole lot as well, I thought.

I can empathize with the feeling that one hasn’t done enough in any direction, just going along and being average, and yeah, it’s a bitter pill to swallow sometimes when you’re holding yourself to some higher standard.

yeah there’s no one to impress but me! everyone else seems pretty happy with who I am, because well, they aren’t me!
@THX the tired comment was firstly,, my interpretation, and secondly, because he was tired, he did got to bed, and he didn’t know what to say or do to make me feel better. I’ve been down this road before. Luckily it’s fleeting. :)

Sequeled.
By God.

This may be a bit crass, but as I was reading this ficly, I thought of the Eagles lyric “I’d like to find your inner child and kick it’s little ass” …but then I read the last sentence and was reminded of what Lao Tzu wrote : “He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.”

Elsha,

You do not know, and cannot know how your life intersects with others.

A smile, a kind word, a touch of encouragement, makes more of a difference than you can possibly guess.

The well done you give to someone on ficly may provide them the validation they needed at a vulnerable time in their life to pursue a lifetime passion with the written word.

The person in high school that you stopped and help pick up a bunch of fallen books, may have otherwise felt that no one cared. No one saw them, they were invisible and could kill themselves and not be missed.

You have children for whom no one in the world is prettier than their mom. They know no one in the world loves them more.

You have a man in your life who has promised to love and honor and cherish you, all the days of his life. A man that has told you, I wish to grow old with you. I will care for you. And I will be with you until the day the good lord calls one of us home.

A stone thrown into a pond does not know how the ripples it makes will scatter. You are uniquely you. Are you perfect? No. God always leaves some room for improvement. Something to work on. Don’t dwell in the failures of the past. In five years, or 500 years, no one, I promise you, will care one jot about your inability to balance a checkbook. And the memory of that dented fender will not even be that anymore.

You are as God has intended you to be. And you are given a clean slate to write on every day. Don’t let the perfect, be the enemy of the good enough. Perfection, never gets here.

aw duck, you are gonna make me cry!
I am human, I have my moments of weakness.. at last now if i have one again, i can go back to this story and read the comments..

Girlie, girlie, girlie………..ya know I love ya!