Lovely, short little thing. Love at first sight? A moment in time now lost and gone? Only critique would be one that I used to get a lot, that starting a sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’ is less than ideal in terms of strength of writing. Seems to work here in the poetic scheme of things, but something to watch out for.

I wholly agree with you on the ‘And’ and ‘But’ thing. It was, in this case, deliberate. I was trying to give a sense of us arriving in the middle of something rather than it being described from the start. We’ve missed something, perhaps.