Here’s a hint about where to put periods or commas. Try reading the sentences aloud. Any place you pause to breath, should have a period or comma.

You made a good progression from the dreams in the first story to their reality in the third. Now we can anticipate what will happen during the game of hide and seek.

This kid has a nightmare problem. Personally, I’ve never really had nightmares. The story is progressing… slowly, but progressing.

The style worked better in the first part, it is more cumbersome and less effective when describing mundane things.

Aye but who will he ply hide and seek with …

there will be some few twists my freind

Aye but who will he ply hide and seek with …

there will be some few twists my freind

“play” lol

Less wow, more editing.

too many run-ons.. you can make this much clearer Mr. Horror. And then we readers will be afraid for your nightmare-prone kid.
Right now the suspense feels like a joke, like haha, we will wake up from our own nightmare and the story will have a happy ending.