I get the feeling you might be posting this story you wrote for an English class and want someone to edit/review it to make sure you get a good grade or something.

Or its an elaborate joke to show us amateur writers what you think about our bad writing by writing something as equally flawed, in which case, kudos.

Also, that pally tier set is was the best.

i dont think anyones work here is bad and i definetly dont think i am “pro”, Also i did not post this for a english class

you are obviously thinking that my bad grammar is on purpose which it is not.

Please dont resort to conclusions

some of the flaws were because i couldnt fit everything in because of the terrible word limit

mabey i should drop this entire story if thats how you feel?

FEAR NOT THE LAST AND FINAL SEQUEL IS COMPLETE WITH A CINIMATIC FEELING ENDING!

FEAR NOT THE LAST AND FINAL SEQUEL IS COMPLETE WITH A CINIMATIC FEELING ENDING!

FEAR NOT THE LAST AND FINAL SEQUEL IS COMPLETE WITH A CINIMATIC FEELING ENDING!

I was just messing with you, I didn’t believe either of those to be true.

1. You don’t need 5 periods to sell a delay, ex: “tore it away to reveal……Nothing.”, a colon would work just as well (although the entire line should probably be reworked).

2. Trimming grammar for word count is a big mistake, ex: “Jack let out a huge sigh of relief and made his way to the caravan but he soon stopped after he heard screaming from what sounded like his mother He darted back across the street to the caravan shaking he opened the door peering around the corner.”

Not saying I’m pro either, but you could rewrite that line twenty different ways and save on word count. One example:
“Jack let out a sigh of relief and made his way to the caravan. He stopped, someone was screaming. He ran back to the caravan across the street. He was shaking as he opened the door.”

And it even comes with grammar. 251 vs 185 characters.

don’t try to cram too much, and watch for words that do nothing but add characters.

hey with all this free advice, you’ll get A’s in English this year!

:D lol honestly im feeling a sort of anger in twysts comments

i hate it when people put things in numbers like

1. You don’t need 5 periods to sell a delay, ex: “tore it away to reveal……Nothing.”,

feels angry lol

Sorry, I’ll leave out numbers so you don’t misinterpret it as anger lol. Be sure to include editing in your posts so we don’t misinterpret it as a waste of our time lol.