Heartfelt and sincere. Hard to critique beyond that really.

Hmm. I found this quite difficult to read. I agree with THX – I could feel the heartfelt sincerity – but I think you could pare it down quite a lot and make the story clearer. The first half seems to introduce Moise, but in roundabout ways that don’t really make him any clearer to us. Perhaps choose the most significant aspect of him, and then elaborate, rather than coming in at all these different angles. Hope that is of some use!

thank you for the comments and the suggesstions. I guess the day i wrote this I wasn’t really on my A-game. I lost my brother almost 2 months ago and Moise is the guy that has come along and taken over as my brother. I should be more clear in talking about him. Thank you once again the advice is greatly appreciated.

Break it up into smaller paragraphs and it’ll be easier to read for those who don’t know the back story. Besides that, good job :)