Comments on Downward Spiral (Cliche? yes. But it fits) by Ath

Raegan Dauterive

I’ve never heard of an “upward” spiral lol.
- Posted over 10 years ago.
Ath

Is it like a half empty, half full kind of deal?
- Posted over 10 years ago.
Ath

I like my spirals to be flat. Two dimensional.
- Posted over 10 years ago.
Abstract

Perhaps the phrase “downward helix”?
- Posted over 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
Marli

I thought the general rule of spiralling was out , (as in out of control).lol Where did that come from?) welcome to ficly Ath.Well versed story.
- Posted over 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
Ath

Thank you much.
- Posted over 10 years ago.
THX 0477

I liked the start and the ending. The middle got a little convoluted, especially the run-on sentence that starts with “Temptation…” But the sentence right before that is really cool.
- Posted over 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
Krulltar

I have to agree with THX on this one. A slight rewrite on the “Temptation” sentence would help.
- Posted over 10 years ago.
Robotech_Master

I wonder if I’m the only one who sees what the writer is trying to do here. Reading it feels like a spiral, the way that words with similar sounds are used in the ends and beginnings of the sentences.

It kind of reminds me of the They Might Be Giants song “Spiraling Shape”.
- Posted over 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
Ath

I’m glad you caught this Robo! Thank you. Not to take away from anyone else’s perspective but yes, that was the idea.
- Posted over 10 years ago.