The Long Road: Stumbling along the path.
I was completely lost at 17 even though I knew it was coming. I did nothing to prepare for it at all, hadn’t worked, hadn’t saved money, or looked for a place to stay. I floated around with friends until shortly after I got a job and moved out with a roommate. I’m surprised the roommate stuck around as long as she did because just like at home, my bedroom walls were full of holes. My anger turned to seething rage as I encountered the difficulties of adulthood and my angst turned into paranoia. I soon found myself hating the world and everything that was in it and throwing myself into conspiracy theories to try to make sense of it all. I was a wreck. I trusted no one and thought everyone had an evil side, if you said you weren’t a liar, I said you simply haven’t been caught in a lie. This was the way for many years to come. I had married and had kids, somehow, in that time only to wind up divorced and unable to see the little ones which, at first, fueled my intensely disturbed manifestation of hatred.