i like the first line, however it doesn’t match the getting run over by a car that the rest of the story weighs so heavily upon. So i feel a little confused. the dialogue is great, a strength of yours, however I’m not following the train of thought very well. It seems i have opened a book in the middle and started reading on page 36 to see if I like it. There’s much of this story missing. Please add.. :)
ElshaHawk (LoA)