Maggie was the first to ask me.

“So what happened yesterday, girlfriend?”

I was furious with excitement, “O-M-G, O-M-G!!! I had the best time ever yesterday!”

I know. I should say more—but the excitement was just better inside of me. I wanted to keep them waiting, anticipating my every word. It was now my chance to tantalize them for once…

“Well, tell us more! You can keep that bundle of excitement trapped up inside you!” Their smiles were piercing. The golden pigtails atop their tanning bed heads danced around me as they frantically interrogated me.

“O—M—F—G guys! That is all I can say right now.” How much longer could I keep this up? This incessant cesspool of cyberspeak trash I spat at them on a daily basis seemed to keep my place among them smugly reserved, but all the while I felt absolutely embarrassed I felt the need to succumb to this primitive, home-row clack-habit nonsense.

“Girl, you gotta have something more to say than those letters,” spat Sally with some lip. Always the attitude.