The baron stumbled by in a drunken stupor. “Fuck tots!” he thundered, blasting back his flask-full of Scotch into his open throat. The baron had been placed in charge of hunting down and beheading Brooklyn’s Boogie Bog Monster.

“Alright chaps, listen up! I don’t want to catch any of you twats with your knickers down! Fuckin’ Britian barge operators twinkin’ on me tiddlies agin! Don’t get me wrong, I got no quarrel with fucking an English lass, but you won’t catch me slappin’ around no English wigwam!”

At this point the inhabitants of the streets were starting to notice the Baron LeDuke’s erratic behavior.

“Woogie boogie smooogie I got bog bard disease, RUN!” so the captain whispered into Scarlet Johansen’s supple left ear. He then tore off his trousers, buttered her bread, and showed all the children where the wild thing goes.

On Cape Hope that day the captain was de-baroned and discharged from service. It is rumored you can find him snoopin’ around the old rumour mill…