Wow this is really really good.

I noticed a couple of run-ons.

For instance: “So I turned around, leaving him there on the ground, and went home, only the moon could save me now and I would do it’s bidding.”

Should be “So I turned around, leaving him there on the ground, and went home. Only the moon could save me now, and I would do it’s bidding.”

You use “and” a lot. Some of those sentences would have more kick to them if you cut out some of your ands.

Could have an interesting premise for a story here.

really good.

yes, quite interesting

Thanks for all your encouraging comments on this story. I’m going to leave it as it is but will take your useful advice into account in the future Stewart.

Um, ouch.
And I always thought of the moon as such a gentle and feminine muse.

the moon have a dark side you know, stargazer,and i think you’ve doen well to point it out, bethany!

This was nicely written and an easy read. ’though the story idea leaves alot of potential, I did find the character a bit cliché, and lacking in some depth. The transition from internal conflict to acquiescence to final acceptance seemed a bit rushed. Which tends to happen due to the small ficly-sized box inwhich we put these stories in.

I like the concept. I do agree with Krulltar, it seemed a bit rushed from hysteria to acceptance, but that kind of stuff is hard with the character limit. Neat story, hope to see more!

Nice.