I wish this poem had more vivid adjectives and adverbs. like i wish you would have used words other than terrible, tiny, poor, and secret.
The poem itself is good because of the subject the meter and the title in its lower case greatness, but i wish hid more, vivid modifiers.

i wrote it in like 2 minutes during study hall so i didn’t put much thought into it

@Mighty WTF was that all about, and then to give him 5 pencils? me thinks you’ve had too many martini’s tonight, or maybe I’ve not had enough to get it…

@fish… seriously, my daily pinching a loaf takes longer than you put into this, but that doesn’t make my shite worthy of posting. My point is this: time doesn’t equal quality.
So, don’t make excuses for what you write. You posted it, so take all criticism and praise that comes with it. Some people will like it, some people will hate it. Remember, what you write is yours, the readers are only borrowing that piece of you for a moment. and if you thinks your poem needs more fluff then he needs to write is own, and quit player hating.

i think you need to develop it more, who is the kid, and why are you leaving him behind?

SPITTLER