All right, this is very, very strange and disjointed. Not really my thing, but it’s well done for the kind of thing it’s trying to be.

Yeah i am going to have to read it again.

Their voices are horse - should be “hoarse”

But other than that, i’ll admit, it’s not bad.
Kinda vampirish, or just old fashion murderous.

so i bet it was the children feasting upon the parents, now that the children are vampires.

A gold star to Elsha :)

Very distorted and disconnected beings. By not using paragraphs, it was an uncomfortable read (and as Robo said, it felt disjointed). Which was what you seemed to be going for, and it worked. It added to the level of creepiness. Good job

ok i had to reread it, i was a little too tired last vnight. My favorite and creepiest part was how he referred to their portraits as pictures of dead people. The way you broke up the lines like it were some kind of prose poetry was also awsome and creepy. great story. 5 pencils.