SO I WAS PLAYING THE GREAT GAME SPELUNKY AND SOME DUDE CAME UP TO ME AND SAID “YOU PLAYING SPELUNKY?” AND I SAID “YES.” FOR SOME REASON HE THEN BLURTED OUT “CAVE STORY IS BETTER” LIKE THAT WAS RELEVANT OR SOMETHING. THAT WAS WHEN I PUNCHED HIM IN THE DICK AND YELLED “THEY HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON!” HE THEN GOT REALLY QUIET.

IT WAS LIKE THAT TIME I TOLD THIS GUY THAT BEYONCE’S I AM SASHA FIERCE IS REALLY GOOD AND HE WAS ALL “IT GOT 4.7 ON PITCHFORK” AND I WAS LIKE DICKPUNCH.